I got chris browned last night
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
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