I saw his package. It spoke to me.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
