At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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