so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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