***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
she told me i tasted like america
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Randomize
