sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
