You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
