im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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