She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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