The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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