no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
