yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Randomize
