So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
