my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
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