More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
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