So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
We left the knife in your bed.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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