I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize