I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
