you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
i think my cat just said my name.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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