I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Randomize