Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
i dont even know how to be here
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
