Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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