"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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