did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
