I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
