there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
