my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize