My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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