Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
