just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
