My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
is this the sara with the beer cane?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
third nipple confirmed
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Randomize
