Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
