dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
