I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
