I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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