i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
She's the barista slut.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize