This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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