Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
