why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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