I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
