Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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