high people should be assigned attendants
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
he told me I talked like a deaf person
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize