Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
