There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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