it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
