i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I think I just sharted jello shots
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
