love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I have demons in me.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize