i was rollin on her like bob the builder
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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