all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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