Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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