If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Randomize
