her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
