He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Never underestimate the power of titties
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