well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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