I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
