This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
