yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
