i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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