He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
