Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
