nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
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